


trans my gender

by moodorbs



Category: Homestuck
Genre: FTM Dave, FTM Dave Strider, MTF Rose Lalonde, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, au where theyre all on the meteor, mtf john egbert, trans girl john
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-02-07 10:11:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21456346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moodorbs/pseuds/moodorbs
Summary: john egbert isn't too sure what their gender might be. a conversation with dave from the meteor might help figure things out.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 64





	trans my gender

**Author's Note:**

> An au where they were all on the meteor because plot

You're looking at yourself in the mirror of your room. It's hard for you to imagine yourself as anything different than what you are, even if whenever you look at your body you don't feel like it's there, you just feel vaguely connected to it by some sort of fishing wire, your real self floating nebulously somewhere else. You thought everyone felt that way, until you heard Dave complaining about it one day on the meteor when you were both fifteen. He'd been yelling in frustration, a rarity for Striders, before Karkat and Rose had ushered him into his bedroom to calm down. Later on, he'd approached you, saying nothing more than "Bodies fucking suck" before disappearing to wherever he went whenever he needed alone time.

You'd asked Rose about it one day, wondering why her brother had freaked out in the middle of a good game of Monopoly. She sat you down after asking if you had time to listen, and what you thought was going to be a quick explanation turned out to lodge seeds in your mind that were only coming to fruition now.

Afterwards, you'd confronted Dave, which had gone a little something like this:

JOHN: so rose told me what was up.

JOHN: why didnt you let me know?

DAVE: god fucking dammit rose

DAVE: can she not keep her nose out of someone elses business for one fucking second

DAVE: its like her nose is magnetically attracted to other peoples issues

DAVE: sniff sniff i smell some PERSONAL STRUGGLES let me root them out like a pig after a truffle

DAVE: snorting around on the floor all concentrated

DAVE: whats that i smell? my brothers got tits? OOH TIME TO GET ALL UP IN HIS SHIT ABOUT IT

JOHN: wait what

JOHN: you....have tits?

DAVE: fuck she didnt tell you all of it did she

JOHN: no, she just said i should talk to you and that you had some stuff going on that youd tell me about if you wanted me to know

JOHN: i came around to see if you needed anything

DAVE: well shit

DAVE: okay sit down hombre ive got a crash course on dave strider id better enroll you in before you go around getting all sorts of ideas about what your main mans got going on up in his bits

DAVE: tuition is the price of you not being a fucking dick about it

DAVE: youll get a degree on not being an asshole to trans people for completion of the class

JOHN: i mean okay! 

JOHN: if thatd make you feel any better

DAVE: not really but it seems like a necessity at this point

DAVE: cant really put if off any longer

JOHN: so....

JOHN: are we gonna start?

DAVE: yeah gimme a second

JOHN: sure, ok, yeah, whatever you need

You'd sat down on his shitty rug with all the nubs that reminded you of the video you'd seen in sixth grade health of the inside of a stomach and waited. Dave pushed himself away from his work table in his shitty rolly chair, spun around to face you, and sighed.

DAVE: first things first im a man.

DAVE: dont let my seductively soft curves fool you

DAVE: im pure dwayne johnson testosterone fueled sportsball and pick up trucks through and through

DAVE: hell im already on my third wife

DAVE: her names candie with an i and an e and shes exactly one eighth of my age

DAVE: thats right im married to a zygote

JOHN: im not too sure how this is related to you...?

JOHN: i mean if rambling about a union im definitely sure is illegal is helping im all for it

JOHN: but rose kind of said you had something important to tell me, and honestly, im kind of confused with some of the stuff youre saying.

JOHN: so can we rewind a bit?

JOHN: maybe to the part where you said you had tits?

DAVE: yeah okay im getting to that

DAVE: basically while you were born as the paragon of masculinity you so obviously are i wasnt as blessed

DAVE: i ended up with the shit end of the body stick

DAVE: namely one with tits hips and a pesky little x chromosome

DAVE: thanks to the miracle of modern science i can usually wear a thingy to shove my chest down just like i shove down all my emotions

DAVE: but sadly once a month i have a thing known as hell week where my duderus provides me with baby juice in a half hearted attempt to put me in my so called womanly place

DAVE: all settled down nice and comfy popping out mini husbands just as fast as i can to keep up with the rising demands of the child labor industry

DAVE: got two kids in college and six of them in the rug factory

DAVE: pumping out woven masterpieces day after day and bringing home the bacon each night

DAVE: or not i mean im kosher i dont know about your gentile ass

JOHN: dude, you literally sent me a bar mitzvah gift.

JOHN: you know for a fact i am also one of the jews.

DAVE: okay okay maybe i was exaggerating a little bit but the gist is still there

DAVE: i have the body im not supposed to

DAVE: it occasionally causes me a whole damn lot of pain

DAVE: and finally its really none of your business to be asking people about their genitalia so as long as weve got that down ill go back to crafting my sick beats thank you and youre welcome

JOHN: thanks. that was marginally helpful, i guess.

DAVE: glad to be of service

DAVE: close the door on your way out or youll let the stupid in

You headed back to your own room after that, too caught up in processing what Dave had just laid out on the table to talk to anyone else. You laid on your bed, thoughts swirling through you, and somewhere deep in the back of your brain a small whisper hooked on: What if I'm not a boy? 

It was an absolutely ridiculous idea, barely worth even considering, and you didn't for the next decade. But now, looking in the mirror after a lengthy discussion with Rose on how she first figured out she was a girl, that thought is sprouting, twirling tendrils of doubt through your mind.

What if iI'm not a boy? What if I'm something else?

You're not, of course. You couldn't be. If you weren't a boy, you would have known way, way sooner, just like Dave had known when he was way younger than you are now, right?

Right?

Of course right.

....But that little voice, murmuring at the back of your head, still tells you you're not.

And if you're not, then what are you?

BONUS: THE CONVERSATION WITH ROSE

ectoBiologist [EB] started pestering tentacleTherapist [TT].

EB: hey, rose.

EB: i don't know if youre up right now but i've got some stuff to ask you if you're okay with it.

EB: kind of personal stuff, i guess?

TT: What kind of personal stuff are you referring to?

TT: There's a great amount I'm more than willing to share with a friend such as yourself, and an even greater amount that only my therapist and I are privy to. Possibly my wife as well, but that's dependent on my mood at the time.

EB: um.

EB: i'm not really sure how to say this but.

EB: how did you know you were a girl?

TT: About the same time I could reasonably think for myself, so close to three or four. I decided I was absolutely fed up with my mother dressing me in her adorable little custom-made blue and white overalls and took it into my own hands to clothe myself in a way I was more inclined towards.

TT: Which happened to be her high heels and ever-present scarf, along with an absolutely hideous application of her makeup that included irreparably smashing her favorite matte black lipstick between my meaty toddler paws.

EB: and she was....ok with it?

TT: She told me I was much too young to know what kind of shade was best for my complexion and helped me pick out one that matched my undertone the next time we visited a shopping center, along with a wardrobe that was more to my liking, which at the time meant frilly tutus and a tiara she still won't let me forget.

TT: The name change came the next year. It was her brilliant idea to only alter one letter of my then-current moniker. Ross to Rose is much easier to wrap your head around than Ross to Tulip, which was the name I was gunning for. It was still in the same category of flora, so I was fine with the slight adjustment.

TT: Have I answered your question, and is there an ulterior motive behind this prying into your friend's terribly cisgendered past?

TT: Some wanderings from the norm of your own., perhaps?

EB: haha no way!!!

EB: i am as always terrifically masculine in every way shape and form.

EB: you will find nothing of any sort to convince you otherwise here!

EB: i was simply wondering how it feels to be not exactly how your body maybe looks.

TT: Hm.

TT: Well, if at any time you want to hash out your own gender with me, I'm more than welcome.

TT: And I cost significantly less than a real, licensed therapist.

EB: thanks, rose. i've got to go.

TT: Good luck and all the best.

ectoBiologist [EB] stopped pestering tentacleTherapist [TT].


End file.
